With Whom Should You Spend Time? Part One: Believers from Your Home Country

God gives everyone the freedom to choose how people use their time. The most productive people seriously consider the possibilities, treating time like a gift from God. Described below are four broad categories as they relate to outside relationships.

The illustration below is simplistic but represents a significant meaning. I have pictured four squares, knowing that life is far more complicated. The two boxes in the top row represent believers, and those in the bottom row are for unbelievers. Looking at the boxes vertically, the two left boxes represent Westerners, and the right two represent foreign nationals. I want to talk about these four groups of people and how they affect ministry and life overseas. At the end of the discussion, I am going to ask you how much time and energy you think you should spend within each box. 

Figure 1.  FOUR-SQUARE ILLUSTRATION

BELIEVERS FROM YOUR HOME COUNTRY (Top Left Box)

This box represents believers from your home country, regardless of whether they currently live in your home country or your country overseas. Each one of them is connected in some way to you personally or your ministry. This group of people is very important because many of them will pray or financially support your work. They are the people who receive your newsletter, the people you lean on when you miss your home culture.

Keeping in Touch

I kept in contact with my prayer partners and supporting churches via monthly newsletters. I always responded to their emails and set up phone calls periodically with my closest contacts. When asked to do so, I also woke up at odd hours to speak with churches or Sunday school classes online.

Maintaining these lines of communication served two vital purposes. First, it reminded those back home of the on-the-ground realities of life overseas—the highs and lows, the unexpected breakthroughs and the sometimes slow pace of change. Second, it anchored my own heart in prayer and accountability. Each time I drafted the newsletter, I paused to reflect on recent events, giving thanks for victories and casting burdens before God for unmet challenges.

In practical terms, I scheduled a weekly block of time to write. I often set aside some time on a Saturday morning. I collect photos, testimonies, updates on community projects, and prayer requests. Over time, these updates became more than a report; they were a bridge that fostered shared purpose and deepened the prayer support I received.

Making Connections Where You Are

In addition to people living in your home country, this box also represents Westerners residing in your current country. These could be team members or Great Commission Christians with whom you have contact. These people understand the struggles of living as a foreigner in your place. Their overseas experience might give them valuable information about the local people and culture. I say "might have" because each person's experiences and perceptions differ. Therefore, I evaluate and fact-check what another foreigner tells me.

Many people from my sending organization crave the company of people from the same organization. For example, one family moved to the capital city from another large Indian city. According to them, they moved because there were no other children for their son to befriend. My wife and I are the only people from our company living outside the capital city. We are often asked how we can live alone like that, and I respond that my city has four million people: We are not alone. If you are called to ministry overseas, do not spend too much time and energy trying to remain Western in your friendships and lifestyle.

When my family and I moved overseas, God sent another family from my organization to the same city at the same time. Although our families did not have the same ministry focus, and our personalities were very different, the fact that we were in the city at the same time helped us all. That family had four children who matched the ages of our three children. The children helped each other adjust, especially during the first year. One of the highlights for the children was the semi-regular sleepover. The boys went to one house, and the girls went to the other. However, the more I got involved in the local culture, the less I needed or desired to spend excessive time with the other family.

I have come to see that these Western connections, while valuable, can subtly limit our engagement with the people God has called us to reach. They can reinforce familiar patterns of thought and behaviors, preventing us from stretching into new methods or deeper contextualization. I still treasure those relationships, but I have learned to draw clear boundaries around the time I spend in this box.

Keeping a Balance

Before finishing the top left box description, I am compelled to add two words of caution. Please understand that I am cut from independent cloth, a maverick. For example, I enjoy going down alleys where Westerners have never gone. I watch news footage of wars in the Middle East and want to go there to introduce people to the Prince of Peace. I say this to emphasize that my need to be with other Westerners is limited.

This box and the next three need to be kept in proper balance. You have been called to do an important job involving spending only some of your time with Western believers. I have seen too many people on the field who never leave this box. They stay current on all the news and sports in the U.S. while allowing the lost world to pass them by. Just like there is a Christian bubble in the States, it also exists overseas. The second word of caution is not to fret if friends in your home country are not as communicative as you wish. Just like you, they are busy. Show them grace and always try to think the best of them.

Maintaining balance means setting clear rhythms each week or month. You might choose to spend Friday evenings on a Zoom call with your home church, followed by two hours of local outreach on Saturday mornings. Perhaps you dedicate the first week of each quarter to visiting supporting churches in person. Whatever rhythm you choose, prayerfully define it and communicate expectations clearly. Do this both to your home supporters and to yourself.

5 Practical Tips for Top Left Engagement

1. Schedule Consistent Checks: Block time in your calendar for correspondence—whether newsletters, video calls, or prayer updates—and guard that slot zealously.

2. Leverage Technology Wisely: Use group messaging apps, social media, and email sequences to automate reminders and share stories without overwhelming any one individual.

3. Curate Content: Share one brief testimony, one photo, and one prayer request per update. Focused content leads to deeper engagement than dumping a long list of facts.

4. Honor Cultural Differences: When connecting with Western believers abroad, remember their context may differ. Listen actively and seek to understand their unique challenges before offering your own insights.

5. Protect Your Heart: It’s easy to become discouraged when prayer isn’t immediate or financial support wanes. Anchor your identity in Christ first, and view each interaction as a stewardship of time rather than a scoreboard.

Reflection Question: How much time and energy should you allocate each week to believers from your home country? Consider both on-the-ground and remote supporters. Write down your current rhythms and ask God to guide you in balancing this important relationship with the other three categories we will explore in this series.